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ChristineMM November 12, 2010 at 7:57 am

Great post. I have an issue with one child who likes to “like” that hating things like a rude group that puts down a celebrity. I discussed not aligning oneself or labeling onself with hateful things, concentrate on the positive. Better to “Like” a music band you enjoy than to “Like” a group that puts down Mylie Cyrus or Justin Bieber.

FB keeps changing their privacy controls so it is frustrating to figure out how to make changes. I recently found out they put a new feature to let FB friends “check in” a person to a location without the person’s consent (it’s on the permissions page somewhere). This means another person can notify the FB world that you are not home, are out of state or whatever. Not good.

The rash of thefts one summer night here (including my house which was broken into) had 6 homes where teens had posted on FB that they were away on vacation then I had a FB friend who posted to my wall revealing we were out of state (I’d not revealed that fact). Since I was out of town I was not looking at my FB wall and didn’t see it. The police felt FB had a part in helping the burgulars find empty homes.

We have to remember that our FB friends can show content to their friends. For example my Boy Scout parent-adult friend’s account may be viewed by their multiple kids, and their friends (some of whom may be in the category of drug using, money seeking teen burgulars).

Well anyway I hope your teen is not posting when they are going on vacation. Almost all the kids I know on FB or who are my kid’s friends DO POST “going to Long Island for a week” and “going to Mexico for the week” etc. That’s a No-No.
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Noelle November 13, 2010 at 4:11 pm

When my daughter started using technology–web and phone now for texting–we set a few rules. First of all, no computers in the bedroom because being in her private space made the internet feel more private. All technology gets turned over to us at 9pm. That means if she has homework that requires the computer, she has to do that first. And finally, that we have access to FB, email and texts and read them regularly. It’s not that I really want to read all the “lol” “jk” and “haha” msgs, but I do want to reinforce that none of these tools are private and that all kinds of people have access to the content, starting with her parents. It’s hysterical when we see texts from a boy amazed that “ur mom reads ur txts!!!!” and I want to write back, “yeah, and her dad 2″

Sandra Foyt November 13, 2010 at 7:42 pm


As the mom of a boy who passionately dislikes Justin Bieber, I know exactly what you mean! That’s a daily discussion too.

You make an excellent point about not having any control over information seen by friends of friends, and also about being wary of alerting potential thieves to empty homes.

However, I’m not sure that it’s even possible to hide when you’re traveling (or anything else,) especially since my teen attends a public high school. She has the same vacation schedule everyone else has, and we live in “Smallbany” where people seemed to know what we were up to even before we started using social media.

Given that it’s almost impossible to control information, the question is how do you deal with potential pitfalls?

In the example of an empty home, you might have to assume that people can find out and make plans (such as alerting local police prior to departure) based on that assumption.

News gets around with or without Facebook, but Facebook certainly helps spread the news far and fast.
Sandra Foyt´s last blog post ..Social Media Lessons for Teens and their Moms

Sandra Foyt November 13, 2010 at 7:47 pm

Noelle – That’s a great way to reinforce lack of privacy online!
Sandra Foyt´s last blog post ..Social Media Lessons for Teens and their Moms

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